The Metamorphosis of "Butterflies"

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Butterflies" is included in my former band Half Life Half Death's one-and-only solo album, Pymyth Prahn (1995, VIVA Records / Neo label). That was the song most beloved not only by all of us members of the band but also by many people who have had the chance to listen to it either at any of our live performances in the past or on their cassette or CD players.

A video of Half Life Half Death's original song "Butterflies," made by the band's bass player Ramil Aznar.

I don't know the exact reason many people were enthralled by "Butterflies"; perhaps because of the wonderful, violin-sounding guitar tracks that complemented the seemingly jaded vocal parts, the combination of which resulted in a melancholic mood of the song. So, how did "Butterflies" come about?

April 1995, at the backyard of our former house in Carmel Subdivision, Project 6, Quezon City, Metro Manila, Philippines

OVUM

The year was 1993, Half Life Half Death was in a lackluster stage—primarily because each member was busy with his/her own professional work/job and also because the Philippine music scene during the period was dominated by Grunge-influenced bands.

Despite being represented by the presence of bands like The Cranberries ("Dreams," "Linger," "Ode to My Family"), The Cure ("Friday, I'm in Love," "High," "Letter to Elise"), New Order ("Regret"), Toad the Wet Sprocket ("All I Want"), New Wave music was silently lurking in the scene's shadows.

Half Life Half Death was less active during that period, save for a few small-venue and get-together gigs.

One early morning after breakfast, while on a sleepover at our rhythm guitarist Pet's house in Sucat, Parañaque, Metro Manila, I took my pen and journal to jot down a few phrases which suddenly popped up in my mind. Intending to compose a poem, I wrote the following verses:

The sky is cool

Cool as your eyes

Rainbow smiles

Butterflies

I believe that these lovely lines were inspired by my fondness for the book Hope for the Flowers by Trina Paulus (©1972), my copy of which I have been reading occasionally since discovering it in the late '80s.

Pet saw what I was writing; he got his acoustic guitar and strummed some chords.

Strum...strum...strum... Along the strums I began to hum as I went on adding some more lines to the poem...

There they soar high in the skies

The only hope for flowers now to bloom

You're the only reason for my existence

So fly, fly me high with all your love and persistence

"That would be the chorus," Pet said with an excited look in his eyes.

April 21, 1991, Pet and I and the rest of Half Life Half Death; first ever gig at Club Dredd on Timog Avenue, Quezon City, Metro Manila, Philippines

After several hours of singing, strumming, and cutting words and lines from the lyric to fit the measure, we finished a new song I initially called "Butterflies die in silence." I eventually dropped the "die in silence" because, at that time, I usually preferred one-word titles. Given the chance to travel back in that specific moment, I would revert the song's title to the original, which to me now has an introspectively darker and more melancholic effect.

CATERPILLAR

On the next band practice, Pet and I presented the song to the rest of the band. As always, Rain, our lead guitarist, brought home a cassette-recorded copy of what Pet and I were able to compose. After a few days, during the next jam—Rain amazed us all with the stellar guitar sounds that he was able to weave, to complement the sadness of the song. Ramil, on the other hand, made his presence felt by concocting a haunting bass intro, which eventually became the song's memorable backdrop. For his part, Bimbo succeeded in complementing Ramil's basslines by weaving a tom-tom-based drumbeats.

After we had finished arranging "Butterflies" and two more compositions, "Alimango" and "A Feast in Pastel Castle," we excitedly planned for the studio recording of the songs.

In 1995, at a gig at Mayric's Music Bar, on España Avenue, Manila, Philippines (Rain, Bimbo, aLfie, and Ramil)

We finally recorded the songs at Greenhills Sound Studio in San Juan, Metro Manila. I could very well remember the childlike smiles on our faces when we finally got to listen to the final mixed copy of the songs. "This is it!" I remember myself uttering to Pet.

We submitted copies of the songs to DWLA 105.1, a now-defunct FM radio station based in Metro Manila that supported local Alternative bands by playing their independently released recordings and interviewing them on-air.

CHRYSALIS

LA 105 first played "Butterflies" in 1994. To our surprise, it got a fairly positive reaction from many listeners, amidst the domination of songs with Filipino lyrics during the decade. In fact, according to one of the station’s DJs, he got calls from listeners’ inquiring about the song because they thought it was a foreign song, so they were wondering what band was it from.

In retrospect, "Butterflies" and "Alimango"—aside from our version of Sharon Cuneta / George Canseco's "High School (Life)," which perfectly defined our band's history—were the songs that really gave Half Life Half Death the chance to return into and soar again amidst the highly competitive Alternative-music scene in the ’90s. We formed in 1987, but by the early ’90s we were already jaded and hopeless of ever going on. So, the opportunity LA 105 gave our band was really a turning point for all of us.

In 1995, at another gig at Mayric's, with our female vocalist Carol Pobre, who at the time joined the pageant Binibining Pilipinas '95, winning the first runnerup place

Perhaps if not for the airplay of our songs on LA 105, we would have disbanded much earlier without having the chance to contribute at least an album to Philippine music history. Despite failing to achieve what many Philippine bands before and after us had achieved, I am still glad: My band Half Life Half Death left the scene but not without leaving a legacy of songs—obscure or popular these songs might be.

The Catalyst

The book I used as a springboard in writing "Butterflies," Hope for the Flowers is the tale of the caterpillars Stripe and Yellow, who yearn for something more from life than eating leafs and growing bigger. They get caught up in a 'caterpillar pillar,' a squirming mass of bodies, each determined to reach a top so far away it can't be seen. Finally disillusioned, they discover that the way for caterpillars to find their particular 'more'—who they really are—is to enweave themselves in cocoons eventually to emerge as beautiful butterflies.

I wrote the lyrics of "Butterflies" for an old friend of mine, Quelle Gutierrez.

Butterflies

lyric: aLfie vera mella

music: mella, de Jesus, Paggao, Aznar, Ballesteros

The sky is blue

The sky is cool

Cool as your eyes

Rainbow smiles

Butterflies

The prairie's soft

Soft as your skin

Fuchsia dreams

Butterflies

There they soar high in the sky

The only hope for flowers now to bloom

You're the only reason for my existence

So fly, fly me high with all your love and persistence

siahl frettåb, o'lieh

Butterflies die in silence

Sweet caress touching dreams

Far away they may seem

Gentle strokes of your wings

Seven-eleven, heaven

There they soar high in the purple skies

The only hope for flowers now to bloom

You're the only reason for my existence

Fly high, butterfly, against all resistance

Now fly...

Blue is the sky

The sky is your eyes

Smiling rainbows

Butterflies

Blushing dreams

Touch me to sleep

Transcend me

Away from here

There they soar high in the sky like dreams

The only hope for dreamers now to fly away

You're the only reason for my very existence

Fly high, fly me high with all your love and persistence

Fly...with all your love and persistence

Fly...against all resistance

During my first vacation in the Philippines in January-February 2012, Half Life Half Death had a number of reunion gigs, one of which was a stint during the set of fellow Filipino Alternative Rock band Color It Red at Tiendesitas, Pasig City, Philippines

Credits

vocals / sound effects: aLfie vera mella

lead guitars / keyboards / backing vocals: Rainald "Rain" Paggao

rhythm guitars / backing vocals: Ruperto "Pet" de Jesus

bass / backing vocals: Ramil Aznar

drums / percussion: Robert "Bimbo" Ballesteros

female's voice: Caroline "Carol" Pobre

child's voice: Jade de Jesus (Pet's nephew)

from the album Pymyth Prahn, 1995, Viva Records / Neo label

Executive Producer: Jett Pangan

Record Producers: Half Life Half Death, Francis Reyes, and Jim Sarthou

Sound Engineer: Jim Sarthou

Recorded in late 1994 at JR Studios, Makati City, Metro Manila

DOWNLOAD (courtesy of the owner of the song) an MP3 file of "Butterflies"--the album version plus the unedited demo version.